I'm home and have 3G coverage again

Not a bad flight really. Slept for nearly half of it.

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Goodbye Cleveland, you were good to me

I'm sitting in a Paninis in Cleveland airport waiting for my flight to LA. The gods have provided me a direct fight between LA and Cleveland for the first time (we all know it was not Amex travel, or of it was, it was an accident).

I have not been keeping the Blog up to date- to be honest there has been too much going on. I will update everyone when I get back.

So back to auditing, warmer weather and smaller portion sizes. Goodbye to my Cleveland friends, cheap everything and Velvet Tango Room (so classy old blue eyes would feel under dressed).

I was very fortunate to be provided the chance to come here last year and even more so to comeback. You know my number Cleveland.

See you in 25 hours Australia (just as the 4th Cavs playoff finishes up).

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Draft pick number 1 and 2 for the Cavs

Number 1- Luis "LeBron" Vila















And number 2, Ian "James" Beaton

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It's VB day

Victory for the BlackBerry that is. The war has been raging between the iPhone and the BlackBerry and as the commentators expected, it was a hard fought battle.

When we last left off, it was equal - no clear winner. The knock down blow came Monday night when Luis and I hosted Emma and Lisa for dinner. It was a splendid meal of chicken and grape tomato pesto with a side salad of rocket (arugula as it is known over here) and parmesan cheese. This was accompanied by a bottle of Chilean wine. It was everything you could want - the food good and the company was great.

To follow this meal, Luis whipped up pineapple ice cream and fresh berries. This led Emma to think back to her childhood and how she loved picking Blackberries. She dived in and here is the photo (we refer to it as exhibit A).

Therefore, the judge awarded the final point to team BlackBerry. No one is sure exactly why points were awarded but the judges are a secretive lot and their decision is final. Speculation is that is was a combination of an iPhone user enjoying a blackberry experience and the fact that you cannot eat an iPhone. Who am I to judge the judges?- I'm no supreme court.

It is heartening to see good triumph over evil one again.


P.S. and thanks to Luis for concocting the diabolical plan.

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My last meal

Luis and I are at the Great Lakes Brewery enjoying a meal and a beer. Tomorrow is packing, final purchases and a couple of flights home.

We may head over to the Velvet Tango Room for a sneaky cocktail (thanks for the intro Emma).

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It's special time

David- THE BEST EVER

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Fancy cocktail night in Cleveland

We are at the Velvet Tango Room. A classy establishment where you are prevented from stabbing the nuts.

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If gods tears were made of chocolate with a crispy shell, they would be

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What is Chilean for Cheat?

Luis decided to start the punch buggy game. He also fake punched, double punched, google image search punched and repunched - all which are not allowed. If you are ever approached by a Chilean accountant to play punch buggy, say no or you will be disappointed in his utter contempt for the rules. He even told me he cheats when he plays it with his daughter. Shame, shame, shame

Also, he does a winning song at the end similar to the Homer Simpson “I am so smart” song. If you see him in the street, throw peanuts at him. He is the same person who brought us this http://iansprivateradio.blogspot.com/2010/04/its-ribs-and-pisco-sour-night-at-casa.html

I'm bigger than the car

I'm sure he gets keyed all the time in the US

If you can't read it, the bumper says "i'm already against the next war".

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Oh the shame

This is the "car" Luis got for the weekend. He had to leave is credit card and balls as security with Avis.

And I think it knows how I feel because every time I get out of it I get an electric shock. It is worse than the PT Cruiser I was stuck with last week. Seriously, people laugh as we drive by.

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Sunday afternoon lunch in little Italy

The hidden experiences of Cleveland.

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That is the smile of a winner

6-2

GO INDIANS.

I received 2 free tickets at the souvenir store so I hope there is a game before I leave so I can see them again (preferably a day game). It was actually really fun (as much as Clevelanders dump on it).

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We are sitting up from 3rd base

I just had a cheese burger, I have a miller lite and some peanuts. I'm at the ball game. The only thing that gives me away is the accent. We are even cheering when the crowd cheers (but we are never sure why).

Emma just called me to wave from her corporate box and show off her free beer. That was just mean.

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Excellent day for a ball game

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I'm part of the tribe

We are off to the Indians vs white sox baseball game tonight. It has been rainy and miserable all day but now, at 6PM, the clouds have lifted and the birds are singing again. Hopefully we are in for a good game (not that I would really know the difference between a good and bad game). My virginal ball game is going to include beer, hotdogs and peanuts (apparently that is a baseball staple).

Go Indians!!!

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THE ULTIMATE BATTLE

It is on. Emma (EY Global Learning bigwig) is one of those people who has gone out and picked up one of those iPhones. And we have all witnessed the transition of these people into objectophiles with their "my iPhone does this, and this, and this and blah blah". Largely Emma's position was that with Urbanspoon it could randomly select a restaurant to eat at in the area she was in. Pity no one ever actually goes to the selected restaurant and you just shake the phone over and over until the restaurant you wanted to go to comes up.

So, being the competitive and contrary shit I am, I had to declare it was indeed the Blackberry, not the iPhone, that was better. So starts the battle of the smart phones (or battle of the smart phone and the app phone. The iPhone is not smart- you install aps on it).

So, being a born-again Cavaliers fan, I downloaded the Cav's Blackberry theme so my phone is now cross between a blackberry and a basketball.

Blackberry 1, iPhone 0

In return, Emma downaloaded the song Cavaliers use in their player introduction video. I paid the fact that she could search, download and play a song so seamlessly on a single device.

Blackberry 1, iPhone 1.

Not stopping there, I set the iconic LeBron James Nike photo as my wallpaper and took a picture to send to Emma to gloat.


Emma quickly responded with a photo of her own. Note the strategically placed iPhone on the framed, wall mounted, iconic LeBron James Nike photo.


Now neither of these actions really support a one device being better than the other, but they look good. Emma gets points for creativity (I laughed so hard a little pee came out when I opened the photo) and also for effort (not real points, just figurative points).

The score is tied and it is anyone's (by anyone I mean Blackberry will win because, well, it is better)**.

** As an auditor, my views are always fair and impartial, without any hint of conflict of interest.

The sun's out and Cleveland is buzzing

This is my buzz to keep me going. Good mix of cultures I think.

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Morning tea anyone?

Emma brought a tea pot for our Tim Tam morning tea last week. She left it in the project room afterwards so Luis and I have been using it to make tea (novel I know). Because it is not the most masculine tea pot in the world (no offence Emma), we tend to rush to the lunch room to fill it with boiling water and then rush back to the project room. This may not actually help our cause.

The good news it is makes an excellent cup of tea.

Indians home opener

Today is the Cleveland Indians' opening home game (we call it the home opener). Apparently it is the biggest party of the year in Cleveland. The locals are not feeling confident about the team's season but today will have Carnival style atmosphere. I cannot wait to get out there and see what is going on. I will be going to a game on Friday night with Luis. Lisa and Emma are also going on Friday but have progressively better seats that we do. I am going for the atmosphere and beer (and just the experience of an American ball game).

Not sure how I am going to get this all home

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Got that Jessie James?

No smoking in the shopping center

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What sound does a turtle make?

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Caroline, a little hamburger helper maybe?

Seriously, you have to move here.

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You know how everything is bigger in the US?

Well Wal-Mart is huge. It has sales of $400 billion a year (this is not a Barnaby Joyce moment, it is billions). To put that in perspective, Australia has a GDP of $1,000 billion. Therefore, 2.5 Wal-Mart companies = 1 Australia. WOW

I have just taught the team the Tim Tam slam

It went down well, didn't it Emma?

Thanks to Emma for supplying the tea pot and me for supplying the world's most overpriced tea. Seriously, $5.50 for 10 tea bags. They saw me coming.

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No way - it is snowing

It was 25 degrees (80F) last Friday and now it is snowing. It is 15C in Moscow at the moment. This weather is loco.

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A week in the life . . .

I have been back in Cleveland over a week and am having a blast. I got straight into work and am enjoy that - knowing we have a tight deadline helps me focus and get things done- nothing like waiting to the last moments. I have reconnected with John and Roy. When I was here last, they had desks outside our project room so I would often have a chat with them during the day and generally we went out for lunch on Fridays. Roy has moved on from EY and John has moved into an Advisory role (the OTHER division). I don't hold that against him and we are doing drinks next Thursday. Should be fun. (Oh, by the way Roy, I have stolen your chair. No use in it going to waste).

Without them there, and the room so empty now (especially without Lyudmila), it seems like we are the only people on the floor at times. It makes me talk to complete strangers in the office just to have conversation. I think the level 16ers think I have a screw loose. I am Aussie so they can't be too wrong. I think part of it is they cannot understand me.

The extended team went out for dinner and drinks on Friday night at the House of Blues for some gold ol' New Orleans food. Don't listen to the name, it was actually a house of fun. They have a decent cocktail menu so we enjoyed fancy drinks on E4th, the cool street in Cleveland. It has the best restaurants in town, including one owned by one of America's Iron Chef's. It was good Friday and I had been working all day (the crazy Yanks don't all have public holidays for Good Friday and Easter Monday. Someone suggested it was the separate of Church and state). In protest, I ate ribs for dinner. Take that congress. During dinner, Mario (he is in the GASMI team he he), being the astute Italian he is, stated that Aussies were harder to understand than Scots. Now I know Italians are eccentric, but seriously thinking anyone knows what Scots say when they talk - I think he has had one too many meatballs.

The Cav's are the number one basketball team in the NBA (by a decent margin as well) and I again had the chance to witness why on Tuesday night when I went to a game. LeBron was the crowd favourite as always, Z was a man giant that was unable to move more than 3 steps without tiring, and the whole team are sporting gods. I was able to perfect my Z impression during the game which was fun. It is very similar to Yoda actually.

Another achievement over the last week is a continual improvement of my Spanish. Luis will teach me various words and I am using them whenever I can. I would not say I am fluent, but I conversational Spanish skills now - as long as the conversation consists of "crazy cold hi what why brother thank-you meat yum burp little beer lemon". I don't mean the conversation has to be about those words, it can ONLY be those words. It will be a short conversation and will not mean anything. It has sparked my interest in learning Spanish for real so I will keep chipping away.

Tomorrow is Friday (woo woo) which brings us Saturday. We will be heading out on the bike trail on Sat afternoon for a spot of cycling, ice cream and beer (I am hoping that each of these activities is going to be separated as I can't see how I am going to steer with an each hand occupied). It will be good to make the most of the fantastic weather. I still cannot believe my luck coming back during such an incredible season. I loved winter because it was so novel and I really REALLY wanted to see snow. I would accuse locals of being dead on the inside if they said anything negative about winter in Cleveland (basically, the same reaction as speaking badly of GAMx) but coming here in spring is a whole new experience. I will share it with you next week after the cycling adventure.

Also this week Luis and I went out for dinner to a place that specialised in Martinis. Now I walk around saying I love the original and everything else is pig swill but I did enjoy the pear martini and the apple martini (although it was nothing on the Apple Martini I had in Melbourne during the great Vanessa Carlton weekend of 2005- surprisingly good).

Watch this space for details of the injuries suffered on the biking adventure with the team which are nearly a certainty on Saturday.

Its ribs and Pisco Sour night at Casa del Borracho

This was Luis mixing the Pisco Sours (we did not have a cocktail shaker so a soup pot had to do).

They were excellent.

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No touching

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My bison burger before the Cav's game

Fantastic spring day (25 degrees), a beer and burger before the Cavalier's destroy the Raptors. It's great to be in Cleveland.

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Is there nothing our brand does not look good on?

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Cleveland on a spring afternoon- Just glorious

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Bec - $1.50 each

This one is for you (and yes, that is double cream on the right)

Just to prove I'm safe

This sign is in reception in Cleveland office.

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Cleveland is a whole new place

It is Saturday now and I have been in Cleveland since Tuesday night and I am happy to say it fits like a glove. I arrived to an apartment which was exactly the same as my previous one but 2 levels higher. The furnishings are all the same (although there is a suspect package of frozen sausages in the freezer that I don't remember from last time). You can see by the photo that at least one thing has changed here, and that is the weather. Cleveland is a whole new town now - there are more people on the street, there are more smiles on faces and you need only one layer of clothing. It is quite spectacular but more on that later.

My travels were as pleasant as they could be. I left at 11am on Tuesday, and remembering the events of last time, I thought I was prepared for 30 hours of travel. That was until I arrived in LA where I wanted to stop this ridiculousness and move Cleveland to the West Coast rather than continue. Apparently we do not have the technology (and the GFC would have prevented it anyway) so I had to continue to my connecting flight. On the 13 hour trip to LA I did get in "The Blind Side" and "Up in the air" which were both good (the Blind Side was great). The breakfast of Corn Flakes was not so much (of all the cereals, Corn Flakes?).

Then it was LA to Chicago (in a middle seat - heads will roll for that) and a walk across the whole Chicago airport to my connection to Cleveland (I highlight that it was across the WHOLE airport as Chicago airport is a city in a city). I bought an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich and waited to board the third flight in the trilogy. God had decided he'd played with me enough and I had a seat with no neighbours (the planes to Cleveland are small and are only 3 seats to a row, 1 + 2).

This flight was short and I got stuck into Esquire magazine to pass the time. I did find myself re-reading lines a hell of a lot as I was now very tired (about 28 hours of travel). I did get sleep on each flight before so I was not a total zombie but I was approaching this state (and thanks to the Coasties for the travel pillow - I would not have known the joy of air sleep without it). Below is a photo I took of Cleveland from above while I had all electronic devices switched off (if anyone asks). There was low level cloud enveloping the city and it looked really cool.


We arrived in Cleveland and all of the bags from the flight filled only half the baggage carousel - unfortunately without mine. After 5 minutes of staring at the motionless bags (the carousel was stopped after all of the bags had come out of the magical window), a representative of United airlines (now my least favourite airline eva) came out and told us that that it folks, and that our bags must not have made it to Cleveland.

Well god, you set me up good and proper for this one, didn't you. I was lulled into a false sense of security and you smacked me over the head while I was not looking. To be honest, it was not all that bad in the end. They took my details and asked a few questions (which included "did you have the bags labeled?" to which I had to answer "No" - which will be the last time I answer no to that question). My bags were delivered to my apartment sometime that night / early morning as they were at the front desk when I woke in the morning. If everyone has to experience lost bags once in their life, that would have to be the best way (although I had to use the Qantas toothbrush for far too many times for my liking- it is clearly designed as a one use personal hygiene device).

Now I am here and loving it and apparently the weather has just turned in Cleveland. Just over a week ago there was snow, and now it is hovering around 25C (80F) and the sun sets at about 8pm. I arrived on the day that it went from cold to hot (Melbourne style) and people were not trusting of the change as they were still walking around in winter coats. By the second day, it was being embraced and everyone was finding ways to use this sunshine and heat. There is a great alley called East 4th in Downtown (the city) that connects two main streets. It is full of restaurants and which have outdoor seating, which was up to this point, idle. Luis and I went out for a drink and there were locals everywhere showing off their white skin and smiles (seriously, I could have been a native of an outdoor race standing next to a Clevelander). We enjoyed a pint or two at a couple of places and chatted about what I had missed out on.


That was a pic of the Sam Adams seasonal (the Nobel Pils) from an Irish pub at the end of E4th, overlooking Q arena (where the Cavaliers play). We ended up leaving there as all they played was bad 80's music.

The project team is much smaller now as it is supposedly near the end but delays outside of our control have extended some of the time frames. That suits me as I got this special guest starring role out of it. The room is much, MUCH quieter now and we tend to get more work done (which will be a function of our familiarity with the materials we are working with and the fact there are fewer people - which is code fro interruptions).

A part of what we are doing now is upgrading GAMx engagements and I was lucky enough to meet another GAMx tragic on a phone call who holds a key position in the EY GAMx world. We consulted with her to get some ideas on our approach. We are going to get to meet her as she is going to join the project and I hope she does not mind if I get her autograph. On a sad note, the GAMx system analysts have been moved away from outside our project room- I hope it was not anything I said (although I am going out to drinks with them next week).

So I have settled in straight away and am really glad to be back. The people are great and the city is even better than before. Watch this space for more details on my US sequel - Return of the ACC Developer.

P.S. Good luck to Jennifer Kurtz who is a very talented ID heading to South America on a professional exchange program. With her energy, Jen is going to have a great time. We will miss you on the ACC project (but you will not miss chasing me up).

P.P.S. Happy Birthday David. I sent a message but fear these are not getting across borders (maybe caught in customs). I know it was a day worth celebrating and I wish I was there.