Quick update on my ankle

It is about 9 hours after surgery and I have not needed any pain meds beyond panadol (also, I was administered a decent amount of morphine in surgical recovery). There is a chance the local aesthetic administered during the operation has not worn off so it may be sleeping pain but I am hopeful.

I expect to be home tomorrow or within a couple of days. This will depend on the outcome of an X-ray and also the physio who is going to test my abilities on crutches and stairs. The occupational therapist will also be checking that there are no big issues at home with me being peg-legged for a while.

The nurses have been great and I really appreciate the care I have received here at the RBH.

At a high level, the recovery is 6 weeks on crutches (the foot can have no weight on it during this time) and 6 weeks in a moon boot. Apparently there is physio after that to work back the strength in the ankle.

No matter how bad that sounds, I am a lucky, lucky man in many ways.

I'm home and have 3G coverage again

Not a bad flight really. Slept for nearly half of it.

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Goodbye Cleveland, you were good to me

I'm sitting in a Paninis in Cleveland airport waiting for my flight to LA. The gods have provided me a direct fight between LA and Cleveland for the first time (we all know it was not Amex travel, or of it was, it was an accident).

I have not been keeping the Blog up to date- to be honest there has been too much going on. I will update everyone when I get back.

So back to auditing, warmer weather and smaller portion sizes. Goodbye to my Cleveland friends, cheap everything and Velvet Tango Room (so classy old blue eyes would feel under dressed).

I was very fortunate to be provided the chance to come here last year and even more so to comeback. You know my number Cleveland.

See you in 25 hours Australia (just as the 4th Cavs playoff finishes up).

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Draft pick number 1 and 2 for the Cavs

Number 1- Luis "LeBron" Vila















And number 2, Ian "James" Beaton

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It's VB day

Victory for the BlackBerry that is. The war has been raging between the iPhone and the BlackBerry and as the commentators expected, it was a hard fought battle.

When we last left off, it was equal - no clear winner. The knock down blow came Monday night when Luis and I hosted Emma and Lisa for dinner. It was a splendid meal of chicken and grape tomato pesto with a side salad of rocket (arugula as it is known over here) and parmesan cheese. This was accompanied by a bottle of Chilean wine. It was everything you could want - the food good and the company was great.

To follow this meal, Luis whipped up pineapple ice cream and fresh berries. This led Emma to think back to her childhood and how she loved picking Blackberries. She dived in and here is the photo (we refer to it as exhibit A).

Therefore, the judge awarded the final point to team BlackBerry. No one is sure exactly why points were awarded but the judges are a secretive lot and their decision is final. Speculation is that is was a combination of an iPhone user enjoying a blackberry experience and the fact that you cannot eat an iPhone. Who am I to judge the judges?- I'm no supreme court.

It is heartening to see good triumph over evil one again.


P.S. and thanks to Luis for concocting the diabolical plan.

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My last meal

Luis and I are at the Great Lakes Brewery enjoying a meal and a beer. Tomorrow is packing, final purchases and a couple of flights home.

We may head over to the Velvet Tango Room for a sneaky cocktail (thanks for the intro Emma).

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It's special time

David- THE BEST EVER

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Fancy cocktail night in Cleveland

We are at the Velvet Tango Room. A classy establishment where you are prevented from stabbing the nuts.

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If gods tears were made of chocolate with a crispy shell, they would be

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What is Chilean for Cheat?

Luis decided to start the punch buggy game. He also fake punched, double punched, google image search punched and repunched - all which are not allowed. If you are ever approached by a Chilean accountant to play punch buggy, say no or you will be disappointed in his utter contempt for the rules. He even told me he cheats when he plays it with his daughter. Shame, shame, shame

Also, he does a winning song at the end similar to the Homer Simpson “I am so smart” song. If you see him in the street, throw peanuts at him. He is the same person who brought us this http://iansprivateradio.blogspot.com/2010/04/its-ribs-and-pisco-sour-night-at-casa.html

I'm bigger than the car

I'm sure he gets keyed all the time in the US

If you can't read it, the bumper says "i'm already against the next war".

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Oh the shame

This is the "car" Luis got for the weekend. He had to leave is credit card and balls as security with Avis.

And I think it knows how I feel because every time I get out of it I get an electric shock. It is worse than the PT Cruiser I was stuck with last week. Seriously, people laugh as we drive by.

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Sunday afternoon lunch in little Italy

The hidden experiences of Cleveland.

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That is the smile of a winner

6-2

GO INDIANS.

I received 2 free tickets at the souvenir store so I hope there is a game before I leave so I can see them again (preferably a day game). It was actually really fun (as much as Clevelanders dump on it).

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We are sitting up from 3rd base

I just had a cheese burger, I have a miller lite and some peanuts. I'm at the ball game. The only thing that gives me away is the accent. We are even cheering when the crowd cheers (but we are never sure why).

Emma just called me to wave from her corporate box and show off her free beer. That was just mean.

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Excellent day for a ball game

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I'm part of the tribe

We are off to the Indians vs white sox baseball game tonight. It has been rainy and miserable all day but now, at 6PM, the clouds have lifted and the birds are singing again. Hopefully we are in for a good game (not that I would really know the difference between a good and bad game). My virginal ball game is going to include beer, hotdogs and peanuts (apparently that is a baseball staple).

Go Indians!!!

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THE ULTIMATE BATTLE

It is on. Emma (EY Global Learning bigwig) is one of those people who has gone out and picked up one of those iPhones. And we have all witnessed the transition of these people into objectophiles with their "my iPhone does this, and this, and this and blah blah". Largely Emma's position was that with Urbanspoon it could randomly select a restaurant to eat at in the area she was in. Pity no one ever actually goes to the selected restaurant and you just shake the phone over and over until the restaurant you wanted to go to comes up.

So, being the competitive and contrary shit I am, I had to declare it was indeed the Blackberry, not the iPhone, that was better. So starts the battle of the smart phones (or battle of the smart phone and the app phone. The iPhone is not smart- you install aps on it).

So, being a born-again Cavaliers fan, I downloaded the Cav's Blackberry theme so my phone is now cross between a blackberry and a basketball.

Blackberry 1, iPhone 0

In return, Emma downaloaded the song Cavaliers use in their player introduction video. I paid the fact that she could search, download and play a song so seamlessly on a single device.

Blackberry 1, iPhone 1.

Not stopping there, I set the iconic LeBron James Nike photo as my wallpaper and took a picture to send to Emma to gloat.


Emma quickly responded with a photo of her own. Note the strategically placed iPhone on the framed, wall mounted, iconic LeBron James Nike photo.


Now neither of these actions really support a one device being better than the other, but they look good. Emma gets points for creativity (I laughed so hard a little pee came out when I opened the photo) and also for effort (not real points, just figurative points).

The score is tied and it is anyone's (by anyone I mean Blackberry will win because, well, it is better)**.

** As an auditor, my views are always fair and impartial, without any hint of conflict of interest.

The sun's out and Cleveland is buzzing

This is my buzz to keep me going. Good mix of cultures I think.

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Morning tea anyone?

Emma brought a tea pot for our Tim Tam morning tea last week. She left it in the project room afterwards so Luis and I have been using it to make tea (novel I know). Because it is not the most masculine tea pot in the world (no offence Emma), we tend to rush to the lunch room to fill it with boiling water and then rush back to the project room. This may not actually help our cause.

The good news it is makes an excellent cup of tea.

Indians home opener

Today is the Cleveland Indians' opening home game (we call it the home opener). Apparently it is the biggest party of the year in Cleveland. The locals are not feeling confident about the team's season but today will have Carnival style atmosphere. I cannot wait to get out there and see what is going on. I will be going to a game on Friday night with Luis. Lisa and Emma are also going on Friday but have progressively better seats that we do. I am going for the atmosphere and beer (and just the experience of an American ball game).

Not sure how I am going to get this all home

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Got that Jessie James?

No smoking in the shopping center

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What sound does a turtle make?

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Caroline, a little hamburger helper maybe?

Seriously, you have to move here.

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You know how everything is bigger in the US?

Well Wal-Mart is huge. It has sales of $400 billion a year (this is not a Barnaby Joyce moment, it is billions). To put that in perspective, Australia has a GDP of $1,000 billion. Therefore, 2.5 Wal-Mart companies = 1 Australia. WOW

I have just taught the team the Tim Tam slam

It went down well, didn't it Emma?

Thanks to Emma for supplying the tea pot and me for supplying the world's most overpriced tea. Seriously, $5.50 for 10 tea bags. They saw me coming.

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No way - it is snowing

It was 25 degrees (80F) last Friday and now it is snowing. It is 15C in Moscow at the moment. This weather is loco.

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A week in the life . . .

I have been back in Cleveland over a week and am having a blast. I got straight into work and am enjoy that - knowing we have a tight deadline helps me focus and get things done- nothing like waiting to the last moments. I have reconnected with John and Roy. When I was here last, they had desks outside our project room so I would often have a chat with them during the day and generally we went out for lunch on Fridays. Roy has moved on from EY and John has moved into an Advisory role (the OTHER division). I don't hold that against him and we are doing drinks next Thursday. Should be fun. (Oh, by the way Roy, I have stolen your chair. No use in it going to waste).

Without them there, and the room so empty now (especially without Lyudmila), it seems like we are the only people on the floor at times. It makes me talk to complete strangers in the office just to have conversation. I think the level 16ers think I have a screw loose. I am Aussie so they can't be too wrong. I think part of it is they cannot understand me.

The extended team went out for dinner and drinks on Friday night at the House of Blues for some gold ol' New Orleans food. Don't listen to the name, it was actually a house of fun. They have a decent cocktail menu so we enjoyed fancy drinks on E4th, the cool street in Cleveland. It has the best restaurants in town, including one owned by one of America's Iron Chef's. It was good Friday and I had been working all day (the crazy Yanks don't all have public holidays for Good Friday and Easter Monday. Someone suggested it was the separate of Church and state). In protest, I ate ribs for dinner. Take that congress. During dinner, Mario (he is in the GASMI team he he), being the astute Italian he is, stated that Aussies were harder to understand than Scots. Now I know Italians are eccentric, but seriously thinking anyone knows what Scots say when they talk - I think he has had one too many meatballs.

The Cav's are the number one basketball team in the NBA (by a decent margin as well) and I again had the chance to witness why on Tuesday night when I went to a game. LeBron was the crowd favourite as always, Z was a man giant that was unable to move more than 3 steps without tiring, and the whole team are sporting gods. I was able to perfect my Z impression during the game which was fun. It is very similar to Yoda actually.

Another achievement over the last week is a continual improvement of my Spanish. Luis will teach me various words and I am using them whenever I can. I would not say I am fluent, but I conversational Spanish skills now - as long as the conversation consists of "crazy cold hi what why brother thank-you meat yum burp little beer lemon". I don't mean the conversation has to be about those words, it can ONLY be those words. It will be a short conversation and will not mean anything. It has sparked my interest in learning Spanish for real so I will keep chipping away.

Tomorrow is Friday (woo woo) which brings us Saturday. We will be heading out on the bike trail on Sat afternoon for a spot of cycling, ice cream and beer (I am hoping that each of these activities is going to be separated as I can't see how I am going to steer with an each hand occupied). It will be good to make the most of the fantastic weather. I still cannot believe my luck coming back during such an incredible season. I loved winter because it was so novel and I really REALLY wanted to see snow. I would accuse locals of being dead on the inside if they said anything negative about winter in Cleveland (basically, the same reaction as speaking badly of GAMx) but coming here in spring is a whole new experience. I will share it with you next week after the cycling adventure.

Also this week Luis and I went out for dinner to a place that specialised in Martinis. Now I walk around saying I love the original and everything else is pig swill but I did enjoy the pear martini and the apple martini (although it was nothing on the Apple Martini I had in Melbourne during the great Vanessa Carlton weekend of 2005- surprisingly good).

Watch this space for details of the injuries suffered on the biking adventure with the team which are nearly a certainty on Saturday.

Its ribs and Pisco Sour night at Casa del Borracho

This was Luis mixing the Pisco Sours (we did not have a cocktail shaker so a soup pot had to do).

They were excellent.

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No touching

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My bison burger before the Cav's game

Fantastic spring day (25 degrees), a beer and burger before the Cavalier's destroy the Raptors. It's great to be in Cleveland.

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Is there nothing our brand does not look good on?

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Cleveland on a spring afternoon- Just glorious

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Bec - $1.50 each

This one is for you (and yes, that is double cream on the right)

Just to prove I'm safe

This sign is in reception in Cleveland office.

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Cleveland is a whole new place

It is Saturday now and I have been in Cleveland since Tuesday night and I am happy to say it fits like a glove. I arrived to an apartment which was exactly the same as my previous one but 2 levels higher. The furnishings are all the same (although there is a suspect package of frozen sausages in the freezer that I don't remember from last time). You can see by the photo that at least one thing has changed here, and that is the weather. Cleveland is a whole new town now - there are more people on the street, there are more smiles on faces and you need only one layer of clothing. It is quite spectacular but more on that later.

My travels were as pleasant as they could be. I left at 11am on Tuesday, and remembering the events of last time, I thought I was prepared for 30 hours of travel. That was until I arrived in LA where I wanted to stop this ridiculousness and move Cleveland to the West Coast rather than continue. Apparently we do not have the technology (and the GFC would have prevented it anyway) so I had to continue to my connecting flight. On the 13 hour trip to LA I did get in "The Blind Side" and "Up in the air" which were both good (the Blind Side was great). The breakfast of Corn Flakes was not so much (of all the cereals, Corn Flakes?).

Then it was LA to Chicago (in a middle seat - heads will roll for that) and a walk across the whole Chicago airport to my connection to Cleveland (I highlight that it was across the WHOLE airport as Chicago airport is a city in a city). I bought an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich and waited to board the third flight in the trilogy. God had decided he'd played with me enough and I had a seat with no neighbours (the planes to Cleveland are small and are only 3 seats to a row, 1 + 2).

This flight was short and I got stuck into Esquire magazine to pass the time. I did find myself re-reading lines a hell of a lot as I was now very tired (about 28 hours of travel). I did get sleep on each flight before so I was not a total zombie but I was approaching this state (and thanks to the Coasties for the travel pillow - I would not have known the joy of air sleep without it). Below is a photo I took of Cleveland from above while I had all electronic devices switched off (if anyone asks). There was low level cloud enveloping the city and it looked really cool.


We arrived in Cleveland and all of the bags from the flight filled only half the baggage carousel - unfortunately without mine. After 5 minutes of staring at the motionless bags (the carousel was stopped after all of the bags had come out of the magical window), a representative of United airlines (now my least favourite airline eva) came out and told us that that it folks, and that our bags must not have made it to Cleveland.

Well god, you set me up good and proper for this one, didn't you. I was lulled into a false sense of security and you smacked me over the head while I was not looking. To be honest, it was not all that bad in the end. They took my details and asked a few questions (which included "did you have the bags labeled?" to which I had to answer "No" - which will be the last time I answer no to that question). My bags were delivered to my apartment sometime that night / early morning as they were at the front desk when I woke in the morning. If everyone has to experience lost bags once in their life, that would have to be the best way (although I had to use the Qantas toothbrush for far too many times for my liking- it is clearly designed as a one use personal hygiene device).

Now I am here and loving it and apparently the weather has just turned in Cleveland. Just over a week ago there was snow, and now it is hovering around 25C (80F) and the sun sets at about 8pm. I arrived on the day that it went from cold to hot (Melbourne style) and people were not trusting of the change as they were still walking around in winter coats. By the second day, it was being embraced and everyone was finding ways to use this sunshine and heat. There is a great alley called East 4th in Downtown (the city) that connects two main streets. It is full of restaurants and which have outdoor seating, which was up to this point, idle. Luis and I went out for a drink and there were locals everywhere showing off their white skin and smiles (seriously, I could have been a native of an outdoor race standing next to a Clevelander). We enjoyed a pint or two at a couple of places and chatted about what I had missed out on.


That was a pic of the Sam Adams seasonal (the Nobel Pils) from an Irish pub at the end of E4th, overlooking Q arena (where the Cavaliers play). We ended up leaving there as all they played was bad 80's music.

The project team is much smaller now as it is supposedly near the end but delays outside of our control have extended some of the time frames. That suits me as I got this special guest starring role out of it. The room is much, MUCH quieter now and we tend to get more work done (which will be a function of our familiarity with the materials we are working with and the fact there are fewer people - which is code fro interruptions).

A part of what we are doing now is upgrading GAMx engagements and I was lucky enough to meet another GAMx tragic on a phone call who holds a key position in the EY GAMx world. We consulted with her to get some ideas on our approach. We are going to get to meet her as she is going to join the project and I hope she does not mind if I get her autograph. On a sad note, the GAMx system analysts have been moved away from outside our project room- I hope it was not anything I said (although I am going out to drinks with them next week).

So I have settled in straight away and am really glad to be back. The people are great and the city is even better than before. Watch this space for more details on my US sequel - Return of the ACC Developer.

P.S. Good luck to Jennifer Kurtz who is a very talented ID heading to South America on a professional exchange program. With her energy, Jen is going to have a great time. We will miss you on the ACC project (but you will not miss chasing me up).

P.P.S. Happy Birthday David. I sent a message but fear these are not getting across borders (maybe caught in customs). I know it was a day worth celebrating and I wish I was there.

Defend your lane

I'm a lane defender from way back on the highway. I practice the one to one system of merging, but mix this with a healthy defense of my lane. This involves not allowing a blow out of distance between me and the car in front, sticking to the left of the lane to inhibit the angle of entry and generally being aware of lane predators. Driving in peak hour is a serious business.

It would seem these same principles apply to lining up to board an international flight. Apparently you are allowed to join the queue by osmosis whereby you hear you row called and merge into the queue from wherever you stand. This is fine if we live in a society based on chaos but this is not who we are. So, I rolled up my sleeves and mounted my defense. This involved filling the space around me as best I could, moving to the right to fill the queue out and angling inward to avoid eye contact. I was pretty successful and very proud of myself.

Take note land predators of all transportation means.

N.B I have to admit I did enter the queue by osmosis. I never said I was an angel.

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I'm back baby

The rumors are true - I'm going back to Cleveland. I am not expecting a parade- a simple banner across Euclid will be fine.

Back to the land of driving on the right, tipping and awesome people. On my last trip a few months ago everything was new and exciting so I wonder what the theme of this trip is going to be. Everything seems the same as the trip I started in October, just that little bit easier. I know the answers to all of the questions from Qantas check in (like what is your address in the US) and are you carrying any drugs or firearms (to be honest, I knew that answer the first time as well). I know a little more about the challenges of a 30 hour journey so I have my adapter for the entertainment system so I don't have to use the crappy qantas earphones and I have mild sedatives to help me find slumberland (oh how I wanted to travel to slumberland last time).

So watch out over the next four weeks for more commentary on my trip to Cleveland, Ohio in the great US of A.

PS- Clevelanders should make an excuse to visit as I may have a supply of Aussie treats.

And like magic, it's all over

The photo in the last post was the view of the runway at Cleveland airport. I was a little disbelieving that we could take off on that, but we did. As a bonus, we made it to Texas, but not quite as planned.

We sat on the runway for a very long time (damn lake effect, or was it Nigel I can't remember). This had us taking off a little later than planned. This started to cause me concern when I did the maths and had us landing 25 min before my connection to LAX.

I was willing the plane to land and I swear it was the longest taxi to the terminal ever. The stewardess called the connecting flight gate numbers so, in conjunction with the airport map in the back of the American Airlines in flight magazine, I had a plan to get to the next plane.

Little did I know, Fort Worth airport is a series of five semi circles connected by a monorail. I made my way to C terminal and gate 16. I found the monorail terminal and headed to terminal C from terminal B. This of course took me though terminal D???

So I arrived at the gate at what I thought was enough time to get on, and was elated to see people lined up, getting on. I did a final cross check of the flight number with mine and, oh dear, it was not the same (but very close). I checked out the departures board and could not see another option. I approached an American Airlines desk for some help and they directed me to the LA flight which was boarding but had a different number. Bringing the differences in the flight numbers to their attention, I was directed to C31. Same terminal so I had a chance.

Off I sprinted, vitamins shaking to the beat in my backpack. I get to 31 and it was deserted. I checked the board at the gate and it was scheduled to leave at 7.30 and it was 7.15 . . . in the Eastern time zone. I was now on central time so had an hour to spare. Crisis averted, stand down from red alert. This left me time for a bite to eat and some device charging (iPod and BB).

I boarded (on time – woo woo) and was seated in the exit row (it was not the last flight as I had expected). I was seated next to two girls from Michigan, both 18 and both have never been on a commercial flight before. They had not even been in a taxi before. They were also going on my flight to Brisbane, but then continuing to Townsville.

They were up for a chat which suited me fine. I was still feeling the effects of being without conversation for the three weeks of my trip. I spent a lot of time talking about the differences between Australia and America, especially the words. It is easier for an Australian to go to the US and translate as we are exposed to a lot of American TV. It is not true in the reverse- they would have no idea what a jumper was (sweater).

The three of us ended up hanging out together in LAX and I walked them through what was going to happen when we landed in Australia, including the customs cards, the lines, and scanning of bags.

The flight home was a dream. It was 14 hours but I was falling asleep after 10 minutes. Dinner was being served and this was the final meal for 10 hours so I stayed up for that but then promptly took some Advil PM which induce mild drowsiness and slept for about 5 hours.

I woke up at about 3am Australian time, and we were landing at 7.45am. I watched Julie and Julia (was a good movie) and then a few episodes of Top Gear before breakfast and then landing. It was the best international flight I have ever taken.

I met the girls at the end of the aerobridge to walk them through customs. While they were lining up, I went to duty free for some Gin. I then proceeded to the E- Passort line and basically skipped the line of 200. It was great, you scan your passport and then a camera analyses your face. I was through the first line of customs in about 3 minutes.

I got my bags and out of customs in about 20 minutes- was not too bad. I exited and was greeted by my name on an A4 board from Business Class Transfers. I followed him to the car and realised I was walking on the right hand side of the pathway to the car. Oh dear, I have picked up some bad habits. I really was not ready for the heat (29 C or 90 F) - I had on two t-shirts, a jumper, jeans and cowboy boots (I swore they were never coming off but I am going to amend that to never coming off in winter).

I was a little shocked to realise that driving home, I felt a little out of place being on the left hand side of the road. It was really interesting to realise that only three months in the US can so easily over overwrite 29 years of learning.

I was dropped off at Caroline’s so I could get my motorbike, house keys and give her the US chocolate delights I picked up before I left ($11 of chocolates from Walmart would be $50 here). She dropped my bags home as I followed on the bike (careful to stick to the left, although I was being pulled to the right).

I have been home for a day and a half. It has been great to be in my apartment and also my car. Knowing I had a comfortable bed before I actually tried it was a relief. I relearned how to use my shower (and also remembered, a little late, to turn the hot water back on). I have also visited the supermarket to stock up again -$210 later. Apparently I have brought home an American appetite. Not really, only $70 of that had sales tax applied so the other $140 was fresh food – which I am craving after being on the road for three weeks.

I have smiled at the sight of the money (the $10 in blue!!!) and the walk signals at the pedestrian crossings. I’m now sitting on my balcony, enjoying a glass of gin, and composing my final post while reacquainting myself with the spectacular view (pictured above).

I have had a truly amazing experience. Without question, the people I have met had made it what it is (you know who you are). The sights and American experience was much, much richer than I ever expected it would be. I am really happy that I was able to share it with you all as well and thanks for the comments – it was always great to wake up in the morning and have a few emails from blogger with your words.

P.S. Luis, I picked up a bottle of Rum duty free so please come and visit any time. Anyone else who wants to come on over, I am willing to pick up any spirit or beer you need.

Can we seriously fly in this?

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3,369 miles later

That is 5,422 in Australian (kilometres). In other words, six one way trips from Brisbane to Sydney.

I'm sitting aimlessly at the bar at the Cleveland Hopkins international airport. I arrived 2 hours ahead of departure to face the new Obama, post underwear bomber security. It took 10 minutes to get the ticket and 5 to get through security.

Although, my sister would appreciate the atmosphere here. A Hillary Duff (I think that's her name) song is on. I think I have heard it in her iPod once or twice. Damien and Caroline may have bought her the album.

I have a flight to Texas with a 1 hour 45 stop over before LA (the flight is exit row woo woo). I have 2 hours 40 minutes there before the 14 hour flight to Brisbane.

The only reason I am able to even board a flight is because Brent saved my life (he was, of course, a marine). Through the whole trip, I had amazing weather. I always followed the snow, never drove through it. The roads were always clear and well salted. For the last 45 minutes of the drive into Cleveland, it was snowing and there was slush on the road. There were about 5 cars which had spun into the strip between the east and west bound roads and the west bound road had stopped.

When the rain (or ice rain, or snow) started, it was freezing on my windscreen. This freaked me out as I had no idea what to do. I kept using the windscreen wipers with the spray but that was not a permanent solution. Without intervention, I was potentially doomed. I called Brent for some marine / Clevelander advice and he came up with a gem - the front demister on high heat.

Praise the lord, I was saved this day. Thanks to him, I am able to Blog on.

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Shannon on coffee and Elizabeth on the till

My last phoenix for ever . . . Or is it?

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The end is nigh

I made my way from Boston to Cleveland without real issue. I did have to contend with a disobedient bladder which wanted to visit every rest stop along the way – it was a battle. There was also the road tolls to contend with. From what I have spent so far (one of them was $15.30 today), I have the comfort of knowing I am putting one American child though the public education system.

I have learned through this trip that the motto in the US is safety second (Megan would be displeased if she still worked for Protector Alsafe). Indicating between lanes is not the done thing (to their defence, I am sure it is an environmental consideration – just a waste of indicator light). Turn right anytime (no need for care). At all red lights, unless otherwise signed, it is turn right at any time. I will be honest, off all the unsafety tips, this is a favourite of mine as it works really well!! Stops signs mean slow down (a bit). No one stops at stop signs – really.

There is also the “you cannot text and drive . . . . . if you are below 21” rule. This of course recognises the significant advances in ESP that are developed upon reaching the age of 21, at which point seeing the road is not necessary – a general sense of it is fine.

In New York, traffic lights (including walk signals) are suggestions at best. People walk when they want and cars don’t stop on red (it is only a suggestion remember). In Brisbane, if you are a car in the intersection when the lights go red, pedestrians punish you by walking in front of you so you are blocking perpendicular traffic, having to contend with their beeps of shame. I had to deal with a taxi driver who did not agree with this approach who kept inching towards me. He then had to deal with me thumping his bonnet and then continuing swiftly to the nearest subway for safety.

There is of course the drink driving laws which restrict you driving a vehicle if you exceed a blood alcohol level of 0.08. At the point where you cannot pronounce your own name, you may need to consider a taxi.

And best of all, by not speeding, you endanger yourself. Between Washington and New York I was following traffic doing between 80 and 85 in a 65 mile/hour zone (130 – 135 in a 105). Seriously, no one was following the speed limit. On my whole trip, I saw two speed traps. At one I was doing 10 mile per hour over the limit (16 klms) and was not pulled over. I will say this is an unsafely first rule I like.

So I made it to Cleveland and was lucky enough to be able to catch up with the EY Cleveland crew (those who were awake, so not Emma). Luis, Pamela (Luis’ wife), Asad, and Vijai were open to a last hurrah at Cadillac Ranch (the bull riding place) and we had a great night. I did not have much to say as they had been following the blog so I repeated the same stories – but loved the conversation.

There was a heap of snow on the streets so there was an impromptu snowball fight to be had on the way home. Luis got me a couple of times so I pushed him in the snow (no aim necessary). We were all covered in snow and it was a blast. I really appreciated getting to see them all again – I can honestly say they are a great group of people.

Tomorrow is going to be breakfast at phoenix (how could I resist), followed by a bit of final shopping to get things that can only be picked up in American or are bucket loads cheaper here. This is going to be followed up by a snowman. The snow is good enough now so I need to do it before I go. I think I am more excited than Luis’ 10 year old daughter. Then lunch with Brent who piked on dinner.

That means the end of my time in Cleveland and I make my way to the airport. I am really going to miss the US (Cleveland in particular) and without question, the people I have had the fortune to spend time with here (you know who you are). I hope to cross paths with you all in the future (I know I will, and I am always available for tours of Australia. We are more than an island of convicts).

Adieu

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